How do I identify a mentor or start a mentoring relationship.

It’s important for you to know that if mentoring comes with so much advantage then it is not a child’s play, every good thing has a cost implication. There is no one right way of starting a mentoring relationship, however I will give you a few guidelines from my personal experience, as I have benefited and I am still benefiting from this particular Leverage Solution.

1   GOAL

The first thing you must do in starting a mentoring relationship is to honestly ask yourself what you want. What is the goal? What is the big picture? What are you trying to achieve? What are you pursuing? The reason why you need a mentor to Leverage on is because you are in a pursuit or you are about to start something and there is or there are certain limitation(s) staring you in the face. If you are not able to identify what your goal is, how will you know the kind of person that will provide the leverage you need?

2   THE SEARCH

Having known what your goal is, the next step is to search for that possible mentor, someone who can strengthen your weakness, someone who can answer your questions and that person should have some sort of experience in your chosen field. This means you will have to profile different people, ask people around you if they know anyone who has such experience, sometimes a mentor might not have the exact experience but is exposed enough to guide you. At this stage you will be tempted to choose those who are obviously very rich or highly placed, however, what you need is not a rich person or a highly placed individual, what you need is someone with the capacity you need and can have some little time for you; you must have a walking and talking relationship with that person for it to be a robust mentoring relationship. Let me also quickly warn that a mentor doesn’t have to be an older person, what matter here is the knowledge, attitude and time that you require from that person, and the person’s ability to impact. A good place to find a mentor is your church, mosque, school, work place, clubs, and association, even amongst family members. The truth is that there will always be a mentor, “a Chinese proverb says when the student is ready, the teacher shall appear”

3     THE APPRAOCH

When you identify someone who is likely to be a mentor to you, the next thing is to approach the person. In my own case after I identified the person that I believe would make a good mentor for me, one day after church I walked up to him and told him I would like to see him, that I had some issues bothering me and I believe he is a position to help me, then he gave me an appointment and that was it. You can adopt that approach, however, if it doesn’t work the first time just keep it at it, the idea is you are looking for something so precious as such you must be persistent, not becoming a pest though.

4    NAIL  IT

When you eventually get an appointment, take it as important as equity (capital), an opportunity that must not be wasted, everything you say and do at that first appointment will determine how you will be perceived. Be honest, tell the person all you have been doing, your limitations, your confusions and what your goals. Tell the person what strength you possess and what strength you lack (please not money, if you want money you will write a proposal and look for investors, what I have realized overtime is that a mentor can guide you to the extent that you will realize money was not your need). Tell the person why you think he is in a good position to mentor you, if he accepts; great, if not then look for another and repeat the process. Meanwhile, while trying to get this mentor make sure you are putting your hands to work, get productive as much as you can.

Some guidelines that will help you sustain a smooth relationship.

• Never be late for a meeting with your mentor.
• Respect your mentor.
• Carry out every assignment your mentor gives you.(Be hard working)
• Once in a while give your mentor a gift.
• Understand his temperament.
• Maintain a steady communication.
• Understand his body language.
•  Listen, Listen and Listen
• Maintain a solid feedback system
• You don’t have to see physically always; use emails, Blackberry chat, SMS, Phone Calls…….
• Don’t be discouraged when sometimes it is difficult to reach your mentor, remember he also has a life.
• Celebrate every milestone
• Carry out periodical evaluation
• Develop effective interpersonal skills.
•  Appreciate your mentor; give him some gifts from time to time.

It’s important for you to know that the strength of a mentoring relationship lies in the personality and seriousness of the mentee.

Remember there is no self-made man, no man is an Island; even an Island is not a solo element; it is made up of the collaboration of Land and Water. Everyone will need Leverage at one time or the other. This Leverage Solution is the secret behind a lot of successful people and it available for you to utilize. Put it to use.

Your comments and questions will be highly appreciated.